The past six weeks have been a whirlwind for me professionally. In my last blog post I shared how I have come to a point where I am personally committed to think critically about knowledge in the birth world- I believe that Direct Entry Midwifery is strong enough to meet critics head-on and to grow as we learn from them.

But through writing my last post, I also realized something- I’ve been denying a part of who I am.

For the past several years, I’ve been examining the ‘Birth Continuum’; as I see it, we have very intuition-guided birth attendants on one end who believe that a woman’s inner wisdom is the only ‘information’ needed throughout pregnancy and birth. As long as the mother has unrestricted access to her inner ‘birth goddess’ and doesn’t succumb to fear or doubt, her birth will be completely fine.

On the other end of the spectrum, we have the techno-guided Obstetricians and Maternal Fetal Specialists who may never touch a woman or look in her eyes- they rely on read-outs and medical test results as the only information that has any meaning throughout pregnancy and birth. If it can’t be measured, it’s meaningless to the process.

So I’ve been trying to understand where my personal insights fall on this Continuum. I knew a long time ago that I don’t really fit in the Techno-Guided ranks… I’ve realized recently that I don’t really fit with the Intuition-Guided groups, either…

And this really threw me- If I can’t find my place on this Continuum, how can I ever find a ‘people’ who will train me, who will take me under their wing and apprentice me? How can I ever find mentors I can trust who will help me make sense of all the birthy things I’m trying to learn, all the clashing world-views that are so pronounced in the birth-world?

And it suddenly struck me- I’m not supposed to be on *that* continuum at all…

Here goes, I’m coming out:

I am a Christian. I have had a deep and abiding relationship with Jesus since I was sixteen years old. I’ve made every major (and minor!) life decision within the context of this relationship. And I believe that God has *called* me into birthwork and eventual midwifery to serve families as they welcome their precious children into their midst. Somehow along the way, I separated Hearthside from my faith. I didn’t want to scare away clients who might assume I would be preaching at them during our time together and I didn’t want to create walls between myself and birthy friends/mentors/colleagues I might meet along the way. I would never *deny* being a Christian and would mention the Lord as he related to any conversation I was having, but I worried that others would assume I would be unprofessional because of my faith.

So in my mind, all I could see was this Birth Continuum that has been created by people who- by and large- do not share my faith. Professionals on each end can be adversarial toward one another; they throw statistics back and forth; sneer at the others’ concerns and ideas… And *this* is what I was trying to find my place on? No thanks!!

I’ve realized that there is a third way- a way that honors my personal beliefs. I can view that Continuum from the outside- I don’t have to limit my guidance in birthwork to intuition or test results. I can accept whatever on that Continuum makes sense and works for women *and* I can pray and ask my Lord for wisdom when there seems to be two contrary thoughts on a topic. I can allow the Spirit to be my teacher and Guide. I can follow a different Way…

So there will be some changes on my site as I am less careful to keep myself to myself… I realize this may cause some clients to decide to hire another care provider. That’s ok. Because there are many, MANY Christian women out there who may be frightened away from a more natural birth experience because of the view that midwifery has connections with eastern religions, new age mysticism or other ideologies that would make such providers inappropriate for them. There are all kinds of families out there who all deserve wonderful woman-centered, family-centered care. My faith, personality and experiences will fit perfectly with the women I am called to serve…

I’m gonna fly my flag for the world to see- I believe in Jesus and I can’t WAIT to serve families in His name… 🙂